How To: Make a fresh guacamole

hes an effing douche, that was a joke right??? no seriously please tell me it was a joke...

Um, no, I don't think it was a joke...

However, I do have a comment or two. First off, the only way an avocado pit can keep anything from turning brown is by physically blocking it from the oxygen in the air. That's why a half avocado with the pit left in doesn't turn brown under the pit, not because of some cool but obscure chemical reaction. Try it, and you'll notice that the surface under the pit stays fresh-looking, but the exposed surface will turn brown, or oxidize, at the same rate as will the half without the pit. You may as well bury a rock in your guacamole as the pit, for all the good either will do.

The major reason for the lime juice, however, IS to slow the oxidation chemically. And it works. However, lime juice is not a necessary ingredient, and the Mexican chefs I know would never think to include it, unless they made a big bowlt of guacamole that was to be left out for a long time, which would almost never happen.

Oh, and another thing. This is purely personal preference, but I would use "regular" onions instead of scallions, or at least only use the white portions in the mixture, and reserve the green portions for a garnish. It's a textural thing. :)

Also, I would use fresh jalapenos. With the seeds and veins removed, they are not much hotter than a bell pepper in most cases, and are usually actually less hot than the pickled ones. Plus, they are crunchy. If you like the heat, you can always leave some of the veins in. However, the pickling brine DOES help to prevent oxidation, just like the lime juice. I just don't care for the flavor and the texture of the pickled ones in my guacamole.